The Saucy Chronicles

Trailheads Nation was gripped with dread that its heroes had disbanded like The Beatles and were each off doing solo projects. After all, we all think we’re “the cute one.” People panicked– what would eager readers do for their hiking and barbecue news? Worry not, our fretful friend, we are back after our mysterious absence, and no, we have no solo projects to share (although Brad did learn the sitar).    Where were the Trailheads these past weeks? We were not in India visiti

Trailheads had our fourth annual holiday party at Brad’s pad, and everyone had a grand time. Our lovely mates somehow survived an evening of our hijinks, made worse when fueled by alcohol. Brad makes Manhattans that Patrick swears were Timothy Leary’s original recipe. Despite our recent legal squabbles and infighting, the room was filled with merriment, love, great food, and joy. We even made special Trailheads ornaments to adorn the tree. Charlie Brown got nothing on us—exce

It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world after all. Up is down, wrong is right, and the lion lies down with the lamb to count sheep.   Weeks ago, three hikers declared themselves “the handsome Trailheads” (read about it here) and were sued by the two less-attractive members and the recently retired-from-hiking-but-not-from-lunching member, Roy Tumbles.  A worried nation girded its loins (which is more repulsive than erotic) and hoped the gang could resolve the matter amicably. They

With George on a film production in L.A., Steve doing businessy things, and Roy hanging up his hiking boots to practice guitar for his upcoming world tour with Nine Inch Nails, Trail Master Guy led Brad and Patrick on this week’s journey into the past. Our destination was Lithonia to explore granite gneiss– the stone of Arabia Mountain.    What exactly is “gneiss?” Well, non-geology friends, keep reading. Read about a previous hike on the mountain here.     This hard rock is

Although People magazine has never deemed any Trailhead worthy of inclusion in its annual “Sexiest Man Alive” issue, Trail Master Guy declared, with no substantiation, that he and participating hikers Brad and Patrick were “the handsome Trailheads.”    Unsurprisingly, the inflated-headed twosome readily agreed. With an echo chamber of three, who was to argue? Echoes are reassuring and confirming.   Lawyers representing the other three Trailheads immediately issued cease and d

This was our first outing following Roy’s retirement from the trails, and Trailheads were shaken. Brad was so gripped by grief that he was a no-show, saying he had “pulled his hamstring.” What a lame excuse–– does he think we’re idiots?! Taffy gets pulled, Brad, not muscles.   But the other Trailheads all showed up as Trail Master Guy led us on the Heritage Park Trail in Mableton. If you’ve never hiked this path, you simply must lace up and go.  Mind your step, though, since

It is a sad day in Trailhead Land. We lost one of our own, a man in the prime of his life who has hung up his hiking boots and gone to his great reward– if you think playing pickleball, practicing guitar, and perfecting cat photography are treats.   On this overcast day, we learned our beloved Roy Tumbles is no more. We know some news sources will jump to the conclusion he met his demise at the hands of a rabid squirrel or fled the country to avoid incarceration for any numbe

In a move that had been anticipated since the group was formed, it was announced today at Trailheads World Headquarters in Atlanta, GA, that Roy Trimble, better known as Roy Tumbles and The Great Indoorsman, was stepping away from the trail.  As a child, he avoided the outdoors. With devastating allergies to trees, grasses, and pretty much everything that grows, he found the outside air not to his liking. He is currently midway through a five-year European allergy treatment p

We witnessed a miracle this week as Roy rose from his bed of frequent minor ailments and major excuses to join his friends for a hike. Joyous Steve dropped to his knees and cheered, “Hosannas” at the sight of the prodigal Trailhead’s return to the fold. George is still exploring the wilds of Oregon, hiking along with Carole and a couple of jokers named Lewis and Clark, who are so adept in the wilds they don’t even need the AllTrails app. “Is this the Oregon Trail?” George as

Hail, hail, the gang’s all here, but where in the hell has the gang been? The last dispatch was a month ago! Patrick was on a cruise celebrating 40 years of marital bliss (and since his wife, Donna, didn’t push him overboard, he may have a shot at 41 years).   Roy was assisting with his talented wife, Karlenne, who participated in a Birmingham art show. Who said Trailheads don’t support the arts? (Check her incredible artwork at karlenne.com )   Over the past weeks, the other

Trailheads’ motto is On The Path to Truth and Barbecue , and we take that mission seriously. Seriously.   The only way to get to the...

For this week’s adventure, Trail Master chose a site that General Sherman and his troops visited during their march to Atlanta, Cascade...

Incredibly, five of six Trailheads rallied this week. The only one missing was Roy, who listed enough ailments to keep the Mayo Clinic...

While the official roster of Trailheads consists of five outdoor-loving, hiking enthusiasts – and one air conditioner-loving,...

A worried world heaved a collective sigh of relief as Trail Master Guy assembled an almost-full crew to hike this week. Hiking fans...

Brad returned from Maine to join his booted mates. Although we didn’t ask him, we’re confident he hiked down the Appalachian Trail for...

It was an action-packed hike in Trailheads Land this week. Trail Master Guy rallied Steve, Brad, and Patrick. George tapped out because...

We posed for a selfie by a fallen tree and noticed something on top of it. There were a couple of kinky Teddy Bears bound together. Had we discovered a toy BDSM scene? What’s wrong with kids these days?! Would we soon see a Ken doll with a red gag ball in its mouth? We blushed and walked away in disgust. 

Amicalola is a Cherokee word that means “Tumbling waters” in English. And, oh, does that water ever tumble—729 feet from the top of a...

A leader must always be on guard for dissent among the troops. The undercurrent of grumbles can rise into a chorus of bellyaches, and...