Trailheads Mourn As They March, Revel In God’s Crayon Box, And Feast At Owens & Hull.

This was our first outing following Roy’s retirement from the trails, and Trailheads were shaken.

Brad was so gripped by grief that he was a no-show, saying he had “pulled his hamstring.” What a lame excuse–– does he think we’re idiots?! Taffy gets pulled, Brad, not muscles.

But the other Trailheads all showed up as Trail Master Guy led us on the Heritage Park Trail in Mableton. If you’ve never hiked this path, you simply must lace up and go. 

Mind your step, though, since there are creeping roots eager to attack you. Be careful— they’re sneaky.

This meandering trail has a long wooden bridge spanning beautiful, unblemished nature. Come, say “Hey Babe,” and take a walk on the wild side. 

On this glorious Autumn morning, the trees were putting on a fireworks show of yellows, oranges, and reds. We gave the poor leaves grief counseling since they didn’t realize the changes of color foretold their imminent demise.

Soon, the wind would knock the dying leaves off the trees and send them gliding to Mother Earth, where they would rest in peace for eternity. We explained that they should take comfort in the fact that they are merely setting the table for a new generation coming in the Spring. Such is the circle of life.

The leaves asked whether this was like Simba’s birth in The Lion King, but we declined to answer for fear of a copyright infringement lawsuit from Disney lawyers. The long litigious arm of Walt and his alleged cryogenically frozen head reach far beyond his grave. The chilled skull is suspended animation incarnate.

We told the leaves we empathize with their situation, and spoke about the sadness we carried, knowing our brother Roy was no more on the trails. He was a hiking soul taken before his time, so he could pursue silly gambits like guitar lessons and cat boudoir photography. Is that even legal?

We didn’t mention his allergies to the very trees and leaves we were talking to. We realize talking to leaves could be considered, well, eccentric to some and perhaps downright bizarre to others. Maybe that’s why people avoid us on the trails.

The leaves comforted our grieving, and they cheered us enough to pose for selfies. Mother Nature has issues, too.

With two members missing, Trail Master’s expert “selfie arm” composed our four faces expertly and kept his enormous head prominent in the frame (like always).  

The Heritage Trail takes you along the snaking Nickajack Creek and to the remains of two mills—one spun textile for Confederate uniforms. Apparently, there was a conflict with the head designer, who wanted to express himself with paisleys and brightly colored florals, but their clients only wanted gray. BOR-RING!

The other mill ground grain for flour. As you probably guessed, this area was the site of Civil War battles. You can learn more fascinating history from a previous post. Please read it here.

Trail Master led us with determination, past the covered bridge and onward. Without Roy or Brad acting as our early warning system—whining, bitching, and moaning for shorter hikes—we finally flagged Guy with our whimpers about lunchtime.

Trail Master relinquished his cross-state quest, and we began doubling back. We were headed to Texas Monthly’s #3 best barbecue in America–Owens & Hull Grand Championship Barbecue in Smyrna. Watch this video about the joint here.

Regular readers will wonder why we are making a third visit to this place in two months. Conspiracy theorists will speculate:

Owens & Hull are blackmailing Trailheads, threatening to release scandalous photos of their alleged “nude hikes.”

Trailheads shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, and O&H claim they’ll rat them out if they don’t frequent their barbecue joint frequently.

Trailheads get free food for pimping O&H.

None of those wild claims is true, although the “nude hike” is an image no one needs haunting them. And one we don’t want to see ourselves. Especially the last one in line on the trail. We’ve been eating here a lot lately because we like it. Read one of our previous reviews here.

We got in line. The Thursday menu is limited, with no beef brisket or spareribs available. Wah wah wah! Since Thursdays are our hiking days, we have never sampled O&H’s legendary brisket or ribs. It’s almost like they’re telling us they don’t want Trailheads’ business. We’d eat our considerable weight in brisket and ribs!

Rob Owens was working the register and made us feel welcome, even if he had no brisket or ribs to entice us. As we placed our orders, we told him the glorious story of Trailheads, which he loved. (Who wouldn’t?) We also gave him a card with our website’s URL so he could look us up.

“That’s great,” he said. “Thanks for supporting the cause.”

We bashfully looked at our boots. “Shucks,” we said. “It’s all in a day’s work. We’re just the little ol’ Trailheads, for gosh sakes.”

Thursday’s featured item is the brisket burger, which we have enjoyed in the past and loved. Now, if Jack Nicholson were here as he was in the movie Five Easy Pieces, he would have pointed out that they had to have brisket in house to make their brisket burger.

So, hold the bun and sides between your knees, reassemble the brisket into a nice slab, and serve it up (watch that classic scene here). But we’re not Jack, so three-fourths of the crew got on the smoked turkey bus.

O&H’s turkey is incredible. Even Patrick, not a fan of gobblers, proclaimed, “This is as good as turkey gets.” The turkey sandwich is dressed with a tangy mustard sauce and pickled red onions. The meat is expertly seasoned and “pepper-forward.” We like that. It’s succulent, tender, and juicy. 

This ain’t your granny’s dried Thanksgiving turkey (there goes our inheritance in her will thanks to that sass-mouth crack).

Steve had the chopped pork sandwich, which is perfection on a fresh Martin’s Potato Bun. The mustard-sauced pork butt is topped with shaved white onions, pickled jalapenos, and white sauce. Can you say, “Flavorful?” Steve did (with his mouth full).

The coleslaw is fresh and flavorful. Eat away.

And some of us had small bags of Miss Vickie’s salt-and-vinegar chips. Miss V. cooks a right nice kettle chip, she does.

We finished up and decided to call it a day. A perfect day.

If only Roy hadn’t had a guitar lesson, he could have joined us. Brad was probably still pulling taffy, which makes for an overly sweet lunch and leads to cavities. Maybe next time, fellas?

Rating: Four Ribs*

Owens & Hull Grand Champion BBQ

6255 Riverview Rd SE 

Building 4000 STE 100 

Smyrna, GA 30126

(404) 467-442

gcbbq.com

*About Our Barbecue Rating System

Trailheads do not claim to be food experts, epicureans, or sophisticated palates. We are hungry hikers who attack a selected barbecue venue and ravage our way through whatever smoked fare and fixings they're dishing out. Our reviews feature what we believe are the highlights of the menu we sampled. So our intent is not to trash talk the saintly folks who tend to smoldering smokers on hot, humid summer days. They are sacrificing themselves in the noble art of smoking meats and feeding the drooling masses. Many are independent entrepreneurs who are the backbone of this humming American economy. Now that you know our standards, you may wonder why every barbecue place gets a four-ribs rating. The answer is easy: our group has acclaimed designers, and they think the ribs graphic looks cool. Who are we to argue? Enjoy.

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