Trailheads Defy Death And Hike Oakland Cemetery, Their Appetites Come To Life At DAS BBQ.

It was almost springtime, but not Springtime for Hitler (the fictional play within a play in Mel Brooks’ 1967 film The Producers, which he later made into a hit Broadway musical, and then a 2005 movie adaptation of the play (whew!).

Mother Nature awakened from her winter sleep and invited us to play on a beautiful day. So naturally, Trailheads sought the company of the 70,000 dearly departed at Historic Oakland Cemetery. 

Established in 1850, this is the oldest continuously operated landmark in Atlanta—even longer than Six Flags. Our hiking and barbecue itinerary on this was a repeat of one we did in April 2023 (read about it here and learn the fascinating history of Oakland Cemetery).

We had three hikers: Trail Master Guy, Patrick, and Brad, along with two dogs.

Fio drove Guy and Patrick to the destination (we wish she'd practice a 10 o'clock-2 o'clock position on the steering wheel), and Elvis dragged Brad by his leash through the boneyard. Steve was out of town, and George was talking with the world on a Zoom call.

Trailheads bravely entered the cemetery, begging the dead not to haunt us.

While this is not a traditional hike, you won’t need boots or angel wings; it is an excellent walk-through history. 

There is a “wind phone” should you want to call someone who has passed away. Of course, there are probably long-distance charges. We’re not sure whether it costs more to call heaven or hell, but we suppose using Mint Mobile could save you a buck or two. Talk to Ryan Reynolds.

Guy began gawking inside mausoleums. He’s a big fan of stained glass. His car has a stained-glass windshield.

Roy, who retired from hiking but not eating, wouldn’t be joining us for lunch because he was camped out at a Safelite getting his windshield replaced. We wondered which saints he got on his new stained glass. It’s probably St. Christopher since he’s in charge of safe travels

We came upon the mausoleum of the Harris couple. A caretaker was

cleaning it.

He was a nice fellow who performed monthly maintenance on many of the Oakland mausoleums. He said he didn’t fear the dead as much as the living. Don’t we all? And we really fear the night of the living dead.

Inside the mausoleum are bronze statues of the Harris couple playing cards while enjoying glasses of wine. What a nice way to spend eternity. We resisted the urge to go inside and kibbitz on their card hands… and moved on.

Since we do love a good poker game and a glass or two of fine wine, we discussed how each of us would cast ourselves for our own mausoleum. Patrick suggested we postpone those decisions as long as possible.

Oakland Cemetery is segregated. You’ll find sections for Jews, blacks, whites, Confederate soldiers, and a Potter’s field for those who couldn’t afford burial.

Why people who made pottery were unable to afford a proper funeral is a mystery to us—they should have upped their prices.

We walked over the poor Potter people planted there, and will probably live to regret it when they come calling on us in the middle of the night, armed with jagged pottery and revengeful attitudes. 

Our gang stopped by the music legends section and took a selfie with Kenny Rogers.

We also paid homage to the great golfer, Bobby Jones. Patrick eyed all the golf balls on his gravesite and looked around for a putter– he really needs to improve his short game– but no dice. Bobby took his putter with him. Thanks for nothing!

Trailheads greeted two young caretakers. (Oops, sorry, wrong photo.)

There, that's better. We think the caretakers were sizing us up as potential landfill, so we quickened our pace. Redrum. Redrum. Redrum.

You can enjoy scenic views of downtown from Oakland Cemetery. The juxtaposition of modern life going on as earlier citizens enjoy their rest probably has some profound message, but we think the lesson is simple: stay on the right side of the soil. 

There are some beautiful memorial statues holding court over the deceased. 

And some fine topiary guarding the Drake grave. Why didn’t he settle his beef with Kendrick Lamar peacefully? Silly rap wars.

Trailheads snapped a few more pictures and were dying for lunch, so we headed to DAS BBQ in Grant Park, which was almost next door. 

We saw the Pit Master named John tending to his beef briskets. Mmmmmm, brisket.

He told us he smokes the tasty babies low and slow, taking 22-hours to reach perfection. He kept us at bay as our greedy hands tried reaching inside the smoker, made by the DAS BBQ owner’s father on Franklin Farms.

We thanked John for his dedication to the craft, and Trail Master Guy gave him a fist bump, and the Pit Master quickly washed his fist in accordance with Health Department regulations.

We grabbed an outdoor table with a view of the gold-encased dome of the Georgia State Capitol Building and fetched some water for the dogs. George arrived, and we went inside and ordered.

This barbecue joint is beautiful, with many tables inside and out. Large aluminum tubs are filled with ice, soft drinks, and beer. 

George and Brad had the St. Louis spareribs and dug in. The ribs wore a shiny varnish of sweet barbecue sauce.

The Trailheads ate them to the bones while oohing and ahhing.

Guy had sliced brisket and was a very happy man. Pit Master John’s 22-hour tender, smoky beef was well-worth the wait.

Patrick enjoyed his chopped brisket sandwich and dressed it with a suicide of all three DAS BBQ sauces.

They're delicious on their own, but they also play well together. We preferred the sauces when they were dispensed by the previous containers called “sauce udders.” They just tasted fresher. We enjoyed pulling up our stools and milking the udders into small sauce buckets. That's farm fresh condiments!

On to the sides. DAS BBQ features one of our all-star sides: creamed corn seasoned with jalapenos. It has a nice kick with sweet corn goodness.

The collard greens are authentic, tasty, and most certainly healthy since they’re deep green.

The slaw was crisp, tangy, and delectable.

And the Brunswick Stew was hearty. It’s a savory concoction of pork with corn, tomatoes, and spices. Dig in, feast away.

We finished our meals, gave the dogs some scraps, and everyone agreed it was good to be alive. Then, Trailheads scattered to go home and nap like the dead.

Rating: Four Ribs*

DAS BBQ

350 Memorial Dr. SE

Atlanta, GA 30312

(404) 850-7373

dasbbq.com

*About Our Barbecue Rating System

Trailheads do not claim to be food experts, epicureans, or sophisticated palates. We are hungry hikers who attack a selected barbecue venue and ravage our way through whatever smoked fare and fixings they're dishing out. nj Ounr reviews feature what we believe are the highlights of the menu we sampled. So our intent is not to trash talk the saintly folks who tend to smoldering smokers on hot, humid summer days. They are sacrificing themselves in the noble art of smoking meats and feeding the drooling masses. Many are independent entrepreneurs who are the backbone of this humming American economy. Now that you know our standards, you may wonder why every barbecue place gets a four-ribs rating. The answer is easy: our group has acclaimed designers, and they think the ribs graphic looks cool. Who are we to argue? Enjoy.

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