This week found three of the Trailheads heading out to hike and three of them taking the day off. Though Patrick, George and Roy were busy in their own ways they did violate the “not scheduling anything on Thursday” code that only Guy seems to remember being written into the bylaws. As a result, the three primary writers of the group were not there to document the adventure.
That's not to say the Heads in attendance couldn't have done it. Brad claims to have written everything, Guy has a degree in some kind of journalism from a small college in Georgia and Steve owns a publishing company. They at least covered the photography for the day.
So we turned to Google’s Gemini AI tool to create a story for the day. (In the interest of full disclosure, some Trailheads members own stock in Google's parent company Alphabet and are absolutely hoping this increases the share price.) While this story is incredibly inaccurate, it attempts to be chatty, and funny and to have some depth of knowledge about the group. As flawed as it is, Gemini performed an admirable telling of the tale. We hope you enjoy it.
A Trailheads dispatch from Google Gemini AI:
“The Hahn Woods Emory Trail usually offered a serene escape for the Trailheads. But with George MIA at a doctor’s appointment (rumors swirled about an extra toe), Patrick three time zones away butchering a golf course, and Roy entangled in some serious tree trimming, serenity was about as likely as Brad admitting he enjoyed Guy’s questionable jokes.
Left were Steve, the ever-optimistic leader, Brad, a walking encyclopedia of useless hiking trivia (“Did you know the Romans built the first public hiking trails?”), and Guy, whose enthusiasm often outweighed his coordination. Fio, Steve’s sleek Doberman, and Elvis, Brad’s portly pug, completed the ragtag crew.
The hike started normally enough. Brad regaled them with tales of ancient Roman footwear (apparently quite stylish), while Guy tripped over a particularly large pinecone, landing face-first into a patch of ferns (Fio gave him a very unimpressed side-eye).
Then, things got interesting. Rounding a bend, they encountered a rather disgruntled-looking park ranger wrestling with a rogue squirrel. Apparently, the squirrel had developed a taste for ranger hats, and this particular nutball was particularly attached to the ranger’s brand new Stetson.
Now, Steve prided himself on his leadership skills, but wrangling a deranged squirrel wasn’t exactly in his handbook. Enter Guy. “Hey little fella!” he boomed, causing the squirrel to freeze mid-hat-tug-of-war. “Fancy a peanut?” Guy whipped out a bag of trail mix, effectively bribing the squirrel with a M&M. The ranger, eternally grateful and slightly bemused, retrieved his hat (minus a few chewed bits) and declared Guy an honorary park ranger (though mostly in jest).
The rest of the hike was a blur of squirrel-related jokes (courtesy of Brad, of course), triumphant high-fives from Guy, and Fio giving Elvis a stern lecture on the proper way to chase squirrels (apparently, it doesn’t involve breathless wheezing).
Community Q BBQ, their post-hike haven, welcomed them with open arms and smoky, delicious smells.
As they devoured pulled pork and ribs, Steve declared, “You know, even with a smaller crew, this might be the most memorable hike yet!”
Brad, his mouth full of coleslaw, mumbled, “Though next time, maybe leave the squirrel diplomacy to the professionals.”
Guy, sporting a new honorary park ranger badge (fashionably taped to his backpack), simply grinned and winked at Fio, who, in turn, let out a playful bark.
The Trailheads, even a diminished crew, always knew how to find adventure, even of the slightly nutty variety.
EDITOR'S NOTE: And that is how Google’s Gemini says it happened. The truth will remain a mystery until Fio and Elvis decide to tell their side of the story. Publishers may contact their literary agents to begin negotiations.
Rating: Four Ribs*
Community Q BBQ
1361 Clairmont Rd.
Decatur, GA 30033
404-633-2080
*About Our Barbecue Rating System
Trailheads do not claim to be food experts, epicureans, or sophisticated palettes. We are hungry hikers who attack a selected barbecue venue and ravage our way through whatever smoked fare and fixings they're dishing.
Our reviews feature what we believe are the highlights of the menu we sampled. So our intent is not to trash talk the saintly folks who tend to smoldering smokers on hot, humid summer days. They are sacrificing themselves in the noble art of smoking meats and feeding the drooling masses. Many are independent entrepreneurs who are the backbone of this humming American economy.
Now that you know our standards, you may wonder why every barbecue place gets a four ribs rating. The answer is easy: our group has acclaimed designers, and they think the ribs graphic looks cool.
Who are we to argue? Enjoy.
barbecue
AtlantaBarbecue
bbqsauce
brisket
Brisket
ChattahoocheeChallenge
Chiggers
Elvis Loves Fio
hikingforfood
HikingGeorgia
hiking
North Georgia BBQ
Pierre de Coubertin Medal
Pulled Pork
quicksand
Ribs
Trailheads
Trailheads Approved
Whitesauce
TrailheadsHike
City BBQ
Summit Coffee
Okra
AJC
Olivia
Glacier National Park
Island Ford Trail
Pulitzer
Chattahoochee National Park Conservancy
Atlanta Journal-Constitution