Some helpful travel advice: If you ever see a bucktoothed cartoon beaver while traveling, make a pit stop.
Patrick recently visited the world’s largest convenience store, Buc-ee’s, in Luling, TX, west of San Antonio. It’s 75,593 square feet of tasty junk food, a wall of jerky, tee shirts, knickknacks, paddywhacks, Buc-ee’s logo crap, and barbecue.
He’d heard from other Trailheads, friends, and relatives that the eager beaver smoked a mean brisket, but Patrick was inexperienced. He hoped that what they were serving was beef brisket and not a flat-tailed friend.
Buc-ee’s locations are popping up all over the country. The operation has a ritual where the barbecue kiosk employees cheer when a smoked brisket is put on the cutting board and manically chopped. The pitmaster pours a colossal ladle of barbecue sauce onto the meat mound and mixes it in.
Workers slap the meat between buns, wrap them in foil, and place sandwiches in a heated holding area, where a procession of hungry hands grab them. You’ll know the hype is legit after one taste––Buc-ee’s smokes a delicious brisket.
Patrick regaled the team with stories about his visit with the giant water rat, and they were primed for their barbecue lunch after the hike.
This week’s Trailheads adventure was a walk in the park, thanks to the Trail Master, who pitied Patrick, still breaking in his new fake knee. Guy selected the Big Creek Greenway Trail from Roswell to Alpharetta, and Brad and Steve joined the team. We last hiked this trail in May 2022.
Roy was on the disabled list with a nasty case of plantar fasciitis, a foot ailment that feels like 1,000 needles being jabbed into your heel with every step.
George didn’t hike because he was probably clearing shelf space for the many Oscars he’ll be collecting next year for his upcoming documentary movie.
Big Creek Greenway is eight miles of beautifully maintained sidewalks and bridges. It’s popular with runners, bikers, walkers, and macho hikers like Trailheads who avoid placing their feet on terra firma because they fear it might dirty their footwear.
It was a cold, blustery morning with clear blue skies. We talked about TV shows. We’re fans of Severance, White Lotus, and Paradise if you need viewing tips.
Next, we discussed our deaths and the plans for our remains (aren’t we a fun bunch?). The Hiking Hall of Fame might want to taxidermy us for a special Trailheads’ memorial display, but we refuse to be exploited unless they pay us while we’re alive. We’re not sure money works in the afterlife.
The four of us hiking on this day plan on being cremated, preferably after we leave this mortal coil. Some of us will donate our organs and whatnot to medical science, and the leftovers can be torched. We’ll request our loved ones sprinkle our ashes on the planet we’ve traveled so well.
One of the fellows mentioned seeing burial pods that grew trees after planting the body. We discussed how desirable it would be to become a tree after death (until some dog with a full bladder came by). Some thought it would be okay depending on the variety of tree you sprouted. Becoming a weeping willow seems self-indulgent.
We kept moving, and soon, we had hiked from Roswell into Alpharetta. Trailheads were proud of hitting two cities in one hike. An incredible feat like this certainly merits inclusion in the Hiking Hall of Fame.
Walking on, there were several paths, so we consulted a map.
“Let’s take the shortest route,” Brad said. “I’m hungry.” Obviously, the beaver brisket had weighed heavily on his mind and growling stomach.
“How about just another 33 or 34 more miles?” Trail Master asked. “It’ll be fun.”
“No!” his team cried in unison. “Feed us!”
“You’re a bunch of babies,” he said, walking away disgusted. We followed him because we’re followers and if we didn’t, we’d probably die and turn into trees.
Guy got giddy when he came to a No Trespassing sign. He stepped into the forbidden zone and giggled at his bad-boy-ness. His compatriots urged him to get us back to the parking lot so we could get lunch. Bread and water in the Alpharetta jail was not appealing.
Trailheads returned to their cars and caravanned to Jack’s Feed Store BBQ in Alpharetta, the sister restaurant to Smokejack BBQ up the road, which we’ve visited. We’d never eaten at Jack’s and had curious taste buds. This joint bills itself as a Texas-inspired BBQ Market. We bellied to the counter and ordered. Steve kindly picked up the check, making him our hero and overlord of lunch.
Brad, Guy, and Steve ordered Flippin’ Good platters, with two meats, two sides, and a slab of Texas Toast (that’s Texas-inspired). We secured a table on the patio and prepared to stuff our gobs.
Of course, one wiseacre had to ask the woman at the counter if they had barbecued beaver tail. She said they didn’t and was puzzled by this attempt at bad Buc-ee’s humor.
The spareribs were tasty, although heavy on the sauce. The ribs were meaty, satisfying, and ate clean to the bones.
The beef brisket was also delicious. Brad had some fatty portions, which he fed to Elvis, who is not watching his diet since he doesn’t usually wear belts.
Guy loved his Brisket Burnt Ends, which are nuggets of delectable beef in a tangy barbecue sauce. He even shared some with us (at knifepoint).
The pulled pork sandwich was also a winner, with tender meat piled on a toasted bun. Squirt some sauce and go to town.
Jack’s Feed Store BBQ’s sauces are nice. We were impressed with the Spicy and Carolina sauces, which have distinctive flavors that enhance everything they touch.
The sides received rave reviews. The Cowboy Beans were first rate, and we finished them and left before re-enacting the campfire scene from Blazing Saddles.
Guy loved his Cucumber Salad, saying it was “fresh and flavorful.” We love it when he gets all alliterative.
Patrick said his Mashed Sweet Potatoes were excellent.
Steve loved his coleslaw and said it tasted “healthy.”
And Brad was cuckoo for the Jalapeno Cream Style Corn.
For dessert, we sampled a Reese’s Peanut Butter Pie slice. Um, pie, pyramids of sweetness!
We finished our meals, chewed the fat, and scattered to the wind, like our ashes will someday. Just not too soon—maybe 40 or 50 years from now. We’ve got some more trails to blaze.
Rating: Four Ribs and Four Tacos*
Jack’s Feed Store BBQ
241 S Main St
Alpharetta, GA 30009
(770) 410-7611
*About Our Barbecue Rating System
Trailheads do not claim to be food experts, epicureans, or sophisticated palates. We are hungry hikers who attack a selected barbecue venue and ravage our way through whatever smoked fare and fixings they're dishing out.
Our reviews feature what we believe are the highlights of the menu we sampled. So our intent is not to trash talk the saintly folks who tend to smoldering smokers on hot, humid summer days. They are sacrificing themselves in the noble art of smoking meats and feeding the drooling masses. Many are independent entrepreneurs who are the backbone of this humming American economy.
Now that you know our standards, you may wonder why every barbecue place gets a four-ribs rating. The answer is easy: our group has acclaimed designers, and they think the ribs graphic looks cool.
Who are we to argue? Enjoy.
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