Roy Runs Out Of Believable Excuses, Trailheads Rally To March With Thousands, And In Nature, Then We Engorge Ourselves At City Barbecue.

We witnessed a miracle this week as Roy rose from his bed of frequent minor ailments and major excuses to join his friends for a hike. Joyous Steve dropped to his knees and cheered, “Hosannas” at the sight of the prodigal Trailhead’s return to the fold.

George is still exploring the wilds of Oregon, hiking along with Carole and a couple of jokers named Lewis and Clark, who are so adept in the wilds they don’t even need the AllTrails app.

“Is this the Oregon Trail?” George asks every person he runs into.

Most Trailheads took part in the NO KINGS marches on Saturday. Over seven million patriotic Americans who still believe in the Constitution, law and order, and democracy gathered to protest the grifting, felon wannabe autocrat.

Brad designed a special T-shirt in honor of the march, and Trail Master Guy wore his for the day’s hike.

We've had requests for these “Unpaid Protester, Proud AntiFascist” tees on our website. If you’re interested, drop us a note and we’ll let you know where they were printed so you can order up one — or a hundred — of your own.

Were the protest marches effective? The Shameless King posted a fake AI video of his orangeness wearing a crown, getting on a fighter jet branded with KING TRUMP, and taking to the skies, dumping payloads of feces on the patriotic citizens marching below. That’s quite a mature and measured response from the leader of our country. The guy’s pitiful.

A few days later, he destroyed the East Wing of the White House to build his garish ballroom, even though he is merely the occupant squatting in The People’s House for the next three years. Trailheads stand firm in our opposition to this petty bully, and we wait for the voters who supported him and his sycophantic, spineless GOP politicians to do something and fight to save our democracy. We want to continue hiking in the land of the free, not as subjects of an insecure, unstable conman hellbent on ruining our great nation.

The many protests only made the snowflake-in-chief more of an ass, which we didn’t think was possible. 

Guy was supposed to be on jury duty on this fine day (he loves performing civic duties), but he received a stay of execution the day before and chose the Gold Branch Trail in Roswell for our hike.

As we looked at the map, the Trail Master asked if we wanted to do the longer or shorter version of the hike. Of course, he knew the answer, since we immediately said we were hungry for barbecue and should start doubling back before we even began. Naturally, he took us on the longer route so he could enjoy hearing more of our never-ending gripes.

Golden Branch is a beautiful trail that can injure you if you’re not carefully watching your step. There are many roots, rocks, and even surveyors’ metal spikes (is the government selling off our trails now?) randomly scattered along the way.

Any of these can easily trip you. Roy Tumbles is usually the prime candidate for this, but Steve Stumbles seemed the most at risk today.

This is a stunning trail to hike. It winds past a scenic lake where happy fish swim and hungry egrets wait for fresh, wet meals to be delivered (sans Uber Eats).

It seemed like a perfect spot for a selfie.

The trail has excellent elevation changes, so you’ll get a vigorous workout and burn enough calories to offset maybe a small order of fries or a regular Coke.

Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and we wondered if it was an earthquake. Upon closer inspection, we realized it was only our hunger pangs rumbling. Trail Master began guiding us back to the cars so we could go to lunch. Was it the shortest, most direct route? We can’t be sure, but eventually we made it. We’re more dedicated to eating barbecue than hiking.

We chose a reliable favorite, City Barbecue in Sandy Springs (read about our last visit here). This joint does it all and does it very well. We placed our orders and sat at an outdoor table, keeping the dogs company.

We don’t let them sit at the table because they eat like animals–they have no table manners whatsoever.

City Barbecue’s beef brisket is Texas-good.

The pulled pork is also excellent. Add some “Swine Wine,” and it becomes world class.

The spareribs are always a good choice here. Before you know it, you’ll end up with a pile of clean-picked bones.

 The "Not A Sloppy Joe" sandwich was a tangle of pulled pork, pulled ribs, and brisket—tossed in spicy-sweet Chipotle Peach BBQ sauce, with pickles and crispy onion straws on a toasted bun. That's a mouthful.

And the stacked smoked turkey sandwich is so tasty, it would make a pilgrim shed tears of joy.

The Bama Chicken sandwich was mighty tasty. Chopped chicken mixed with onions and Big Bob Gibson White Sauce, somewhat contained by a fluffy bun.

The sides are no slouches either. Everything from the fryer is exceptional: fries, okra, hush puppies, they’re all um-um good.

The slaw, mac and cheese, corn pudding, and collard greens are also perfect sides to any smoked meat.

We sat and talked, and it was nice to be together again. George will be back soon, and we might be able to assemble a whole crew next week.

That would truly be a miracle. 

Rating: Four Ribs*

City Barbecue

6649 Roswell Rd NE

Sandy Springs, GA 30328

(404) 902-6656

citybbq.com

*About Our Barbecue Rating System

Trailheads do not claim to be food experts, epicureans, or sophisticated palates. We are hungry hikers who attack a selected barbecue venue and ravage our way through whatever smoked fare and fixings they're dishing out. Our reviews feature what we believe are the highlights of the menu we sampled. So our intent is not to trash talk the saintly folks who tend to smoldering smokers on hot, humid summer days. They are sacrificing themselves in the noble art of smoking meats and feeding the drooling masses. Many are independent entrepreneurs who are the backbone of this humming American economy. Now that you know our standards, you may wonder why every barbecue place gets a four-ribs rating. The answer is easy: our group has acclaimed designers, and they think the ribs graphic looks cool. Who are we to argue? Enjoy.

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