Trailheads Narrowly Escape Trillionaire Space Laser, Brad Bumbles is Born, And We Enjoy Bargain Barbecue at Sam’s BBQ-1.
It’s that time of year when our media is choked with political ads. Meanwhile, Mother Nature puts on a free show as leaves change into their autumn wardrobes, undisturbed by Elon’s multi-million-dollar megaphone or by shadowy PACs exposing a candidate’s cannibalism, corruption, or communist leanings.
On a cool, crisp Autumn day, Trailheads Guy, George, Steve, Brad, and Patrick gathered to hike the Chattahoochee River Loop Trail. But first, we inspected the remains of an old farm. George looked in a window, and it sparked a childhood memory of his time as Mr. Green Jeans on Captain Kangaroo.
He called out to us, and we gathered around him. George struck a noble pose and, in a somber voice, said, “Old MacDonald had a farm.”
We replied. “E-I-E-I-O.”
George continued. “On his farm, he had a cow.”
We enthusiastically said, “E-I-E-I-O.”
He began pointing. “With a moo-moo here…” George took three steps. “And a moo-moo there,” he said, jabbing the air in different directions.
“Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo-moo!”
He smiled and proudly proclaimed: “Yes, Old MacDonald had a farm…”
The gang formed a chorus line and sang in unison, “E-I-E-I-O.”
Off in the distance, a woman shouted, “Keep it down!”
Guy went over and met two women conducting a photo shoot for a young man’s class picture. Trail Master immediately booked a modeling job for Fio to join the picture. The dog brightened the shot with her star power. Elvis looked on enviously, wondering if he could get work as an extra. Most of his early modeling career was spent posing for nude cheesecake photos for “Rover” and “Spayed & Fixed” magazines. It was easy money.
We checked out some of the sights on the farm. There was a lot of old wooden stuff. The kind of objects that yearn to be touched, caressed.
Patrick rubbed his face against a wagon, collecting many painful splinters. “Ouch,” he said. “That sure does hurt.” Why does he do such things?
Trailheads finished the sites down on the farm and then got down to hiking. The Chattahoochee River Loop Trail is a good one, hikers, with a thick tree canopy and very few exposed roots.
However, there’s also a pretty creek, and you will have to navigate the rocks to cross it. Fortunately, Trailheads have the finely-tuned balance of high-wire acrobats. With our deft footwork, no one died during our repeated ceeek crossings.
No body counts on our hikes is always comforting.
One trail section had us playing pirates as we walked the planks laid across the ground. We tried our best swashbuckling swagger, which is tricky in hiking boots. It would have been better with parrots on our shoulders or eye patches. We’ll pass on the peglegs, though.
It seemed like a good time to snap a selfie. So, we did.
Next, we had to squeeze under a fallen tree. Thankfully, Trailheads have the nimble flexibility of Gumby, so it was no challenge at all.
Trail Master led us up a rocky hill, and gravity reached out and grabbed Brad (there goes our deft footwork claim). Although Roy Tumbles retired from hiking last year (see his funny cartoons here), we were introduced to Brad Bumbles as he crashed to the ground. Hard.
“Your man’s down,” Fio told Elvis.
“Guess I’d better act concerned,” the big black dog replied. “I pity Brad. Humans only have two legs–– it’s amazing they can stay upright at all.”
“Some people don’t,” Fio said, snickering.
After Brad regrouped (no choppers or emergency splints were needed), we began climbing the long hill and headed back to our cars.
We told Roy about our lunch plans. Although he’s still nursing a bum knee, the non-hiking-but-usually-eating Trailhead said he’d join us.
The gang headed to Sam’s BBQ-1, a very good barbecue joint on the fringes of Marietta. Our trail and lunch spot on this outing were identical to our February 2024 adventure. Read about it here and learn about Sam’s impressive barbecue legacy.
Sam’s BBQ-1 is a comfortable place. Shelves display the many trophies the pit master has earned for his smoking craft. Plus, there’s the requisite barbecue joint collection of pig-brick-a-brac. We felt right at home.
Most impressively, Sam has a lunch special: a sandwich, side, and drink for only $10. There is a $1 upcharge for brisket. That is a smoking deal.
High meat prices have forced many barbecue joints out of business, especially in Texas, where beef brisket is king and costs a king’s ransom. We get it. Inflation sucks, unless you’re a balloon.
From a 10- to 15-pound raw brisket, a barbecue restaurant often ends up with only 40% to 50% of the original weight in sellable, sliced meat after trimming and cooking shrinkage. Add spices, wood fuel, labor, and restaurant overhead, and you’d think you were eating at The French Laundry. Cha-Ching!
We eagerly placed our orders and grabbed a table on the small patio (actually a wooden platform in the parking lot). Roy arrived, and we listened to our stomachs rumble.
Then, like Santa Claus, smiling Derrick brought us his barbecue gifts for good boys. Hooray! Now, let’s talk grub.
Sam’s BBQ-1 toasts their sandwich buns. We believe this is mandatory because it gives the bread enough heft to stand up to the smoked meat and sauce. The smoked chicken here is tender, flavorful, and delectable.
The same is true of the smoked turkey. Chances are, it’s better than what you’ll get at Thanksgiving (but don’t tell the cook that, not if you want dessert).
The pulled pork is perfect. The spiced bark and tender meat combine into a flavor melody your taste buds will sing about. And the lunch special was also special for its portion size. That’s a lot of pig!
Moneybags Brad spent an extra buck on the beef brisket sandwich and raved about it.
The sides are also top shelf. The Brunswick Stew is hearty and savory, and will put any spoon to work.
Sam’s slaw is cool, crisp, and creamy.
Fried okra is a healthy green vegetable, battered and fried golden brown. Of course, it’s tasty. It’s fried!
Trailheads had a great feed at a bargain price. Sam’s BBQ-1 offers the best barbecue lunch deal in the area. Get some soon.
We sat and talked about sports, politics, and the threats of rising fascism, enjoying a break from the madness and ugliness of political ads. But as we sat there, we kept getting texts begging for one, two, or five dollars, and more, from candidates across the country.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the heavens, Elon (wearing an ill-fitting “I Heart Citizens United” T-shirt) trained a Starlink satellite on us, trying to beam his propaganda into our heads. We scattered in the wind.
We’d already voted without assistance from an evil trillionaire overlord, and we voted in ways that make us enemies of the oligarchs. We encourage you to do the same.
Rating: Four Ribs*
Sam’s BBQ-1
4958 Lower Roswell Rd
Marietta, GA 30068
(770) 977-3005
*About Our Barbecue Rating System
Trailheads do not claim to be food experts, epicureans, or sophisticated palates. We are hungry hikers who attack a selected barbecue venue and ravage our way through whatever smoked fare and fixings they're dishing out.
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Ounr reviews feature what we believe are the highlights of the menu we sampled. So our intent is not to trash talk the saintly folks who tend to smoldering smokers on hot, humid summer days. They are sacrificing themselves in the noble art of smoking meats and feeding the drooling masses. Many are independent entrepreneurs who are the backbone of this humming American economy.
Now that you know our standards, you may wonder why every barbecue place gets a four-ribs rating. The answer is easy: our group has acclaimed designers, and they think the ribs graphic looks cool.
Who are we to argue? Enjoy.
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