Trailheads Are Down A Whiner, Aggravate Cyclists, Dream Walk, And Devour Morty's Meat & Supply

Please pity Trail Master Guy. This week, he led five Trailheads with whiner-in-chief Roy jetting his way to New York City to get all cultrified with his wife Karlenne as they tour art museums with their hands behind their backs examining canvases and saying things like, “Hmm, interesting use, you know…artsy-fartsy stuff,” “nice brush strokery,” and “masterful application of the ol’ Sherwin-Williams.” 

Since Roy was absent, Brad felt it his duty to pick up the whining slack so that Trail Master would feel at home. This meant questioning every trail decision and bellyaching about quitting and heading to lunch at 10:42 am.

We began our journey on the Paper Mill Ruins Trail with springs in our steps. 

Guy stopped to get George looking ‘trail-worthy.’ Our Trail Master is a stickler for proper attire and maintaining strict uniform standards.

Trailheads wound their way down the path, reached a junction, checked the map, and Trail Master led his loyal troops. Within minutes, bicyclists shouted that they were coming through, and as they passed us, they yelled, “You’re going the wrong way.” We kept going.

More cyclists zipped by. One biker stopped; he was as agitated as a paint can mixer at the ol’ Sherwin-Williams store. “Hey, you know you’re going the wrong way, don’t you?” he said.

Trail Master admitted we did know that, thanked him, and we continued in the same direction after the cyclist went past us. We are rebels.

George discovered a small pile of stacked stones along the path. He said it was an inukshuk. We didn’t know what he was talking about––had he had a cerebral event? Guy corrected him and said the pile is called a cairn. George claimed an inukshuk was what they call it out west. Both men were right. The stones (whatever they’re called) are stacked to indicate areas where a path might not be obvious.

Were the bikers sending us this stone message? Did they want us off their trail? Did they not find enough stones to spell, TURN AROUND, IDIOTS!!!

Hiking toward us was a couple. 

“You’re going the wrong way,” they said. “That direction’s for the bikes on Thursdays.”

“We know, we know.”

We stopped and talked about Nova Scotia, as people often do on the trails. Why not?

Guy gave a hearty recommendation for the new documentary Becoming Led Zeppelin. Patrick asked if it was about a blimp, and Trail Master walked faster.

 We reached another intersection and looked at the map. Although it wasn't to scale, we guessed we were still somewhere on planet Earth.

To avoid pissing off the two-wheeler crowd, we hiked on a trail that they were prohibited from riding. Take that!!!

Steve mentioned he has been having dreams of going on a journey that are more vivid than real life. We wondered if we were in his dream now. He said he wakes up and must think hard about which reality is real. We punched his arm, so he’d know which was which.

Trail Master said he had a dream where he was roommates with The Beatles. We wondered if the “Fab Five” was doing Led Zeppelin covers, and what instrument Guy would be playing. Cowbell, perhaps?

Brad said he’s been having anxiety dreams, the traditional one where you haven’t studied for the exam, and one where he wasn’t able to meet his company’s payroll. Patrick said that’s easy––have a dream where you write rubber paychecks.

George urged the dreamers to get a move on–it was lunchtime!

We returned to Morty’s Meat & Supply in the heart of Dunwoody. We hadn’t been there since November. Read about that visit here.

The barbecue joint is tucked away inside Dunwoody Village, a large shopping complex off Mt. Vernon Highway and Chamblee Dunwoody Road. 

Our server was Tyler, the day manager, and one of our favorite people in the barbecue business. He has a great sense of humor, and he recognized us, knowing we were a table of smartasses. Tyler can dish as good as he takes. Being gluttons for punishment, we loved it.

The interior of Morty’s is comfortable, and the humorous atmosphere of the place is evident in the signage for the bathrooms. 

We placed our orders and enjoyed some refreshing Arnie Palmers. The food arrived, and we ate like we’d come off a six-day hunger strike. To amuse our appetites, we had some crispy wings.

These babies are incredible. They’re dusted with tasty dry rub that snaps your taste buds to attention. We inhaled the wings, transforming them into bones in a nanosecond.

Morty’s claims they Smoke The Good Stuff, and we wholeheartedly agree. The food here is exceptional. The brisket has a nice peppery bark. The meat is tender and flavorful. The smoke flavor lingers on the palate, encouraging it to get with the program and eat some more brisket toot sweet.

The St. Louis-style ribs are meaty joy. They’re also dusted with Morty’s magic rub. The meat is flavorful, and the ribs are surprisingly lean. Eat away, they’re almost healthy.

Steve loved his pulled pork sandwich, which he dressed with some Morty’s slaw. Sandwiches are served on perfectly toasted buns that withstand a good dousing of delicious barbecue sauce. Every variety is terrific. Play with your food. 

Sides are no slouches either. A few of them are all-star quality. Don’t miss the Brussels Sprouts, they’re seasoned with a flavorful Asian sauce and sprinkled with toasted sesame seeds. They’re good enough to convert veggie haters to the green side.

The same goes for the creamed corn with bacon. It’s as good as it sounds.

That previously mentioned coleslaw is also mighty fine. 

Brad gave his special citation for the baked beans. “They’re incredible,” he tooted. We moved our chairs downwind. 

There are no weak spots at Morty’s Meat & Supply. If you haven’t been, you’re cheating yourself. 

Tyler came out and we settled the check. We learned he hails from Canada, and we love our neighbors to the north. 

On our way out, we had to get a shot of us with the Funwoody sign. A kind woman named Debbie (that’s Dunwoody Debbie) snapped the shot. 

We wrapped up an excellent day of hiking the wrong way but eating the right way. Make a move to Morty’s Meat & Supply.

Morty's Meat & Supply

5509 Chamblee-Dunwoody Road

Dunwoody, GA 30338

(770) 525-3443

mortysmeatandsupply.com